[prock929]

Well, I went to my parents' house for Mother's Day yesterday. They had sausage and peppers. The also had potato salad and baked beens. My father cooked chicken breasts (boneless), hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. I had a piece of chicken, a hamburger and some sausage and peppers. Unfortunately, they broke with their usual tradition and did not have a green (tossed) salad. So I was pretty much a carnivore yesterday! Of course, my grandmother had to say something when I turned down all the starches. She asked if I was on a diet. I said yes and she said good.

Now my grandmother's comments on diet/weight are a bit of a sore spot with me and my sisters. I don't mind when my mother makes comments, but I can't explain why my grandmothers' (and both grandmothers are guilty of this) comments irk me so. Probably because my mother will not comment when I am eating, but will wait for another time. (usually when I'm complaining about my ankle) My grandmothers make their comments when we are eating which makes it seem like they are watching everything we put into our mouths. Luckily yesterday it was just the diet comment. Probably because this grandmother (my mother's mother) has been warned not to bring up our (my sisters and my) weight when she is over.

One time my mother didn't get a chance to issue this warning. Boy! was that day fun. One grandmother asked if I had gained weight (of course she asked the other grandmother and not myself which was annoying in itself). They then proceeded to discuss my sisters' and my weight between themselves even though we were all within earshot. Now I kind of ignored it as I intend on doing something about my weight and know that it will take a while for it to come off. My one sister, who is very overweight, is very sensitive about it. She was furthest away, so she didn't hear everything. My two youngest sisters were getting a little peeved. My one sister wanted to tell my grandmother off, but was told by my father to let it be. So the two of them (my sisters) started making sarcastic wisecracks about eating the leftovers. Meanwhile my mother is laughing hysterically at my sisters' hijinks and my grandmothers' total cluelessness. Eventually my sister did say something to my grandmothers about how we know that we need to lose weight and that, for once, we'd like to hear about our other accomplishments rather than having our weight discussed at every family gathering.

My maternal grandmother is the worse. She likes to mention our weight in almost every conversation. If I call her up to wish her a Happy Birthday, sometime during the conversation, she will ask if I am on a diet. Then there was this past Christmas at her annual party (I don't go because I have an autistic/aspergers daughter who doesn't like crowds). My sister (the one who is very sensitive about her weight) wasn't in the house 5 minutes before my grandmother was showing her her latest diet book.

ARGGGGGHHHH

Anybody else have any relatives who do similar things?
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Patti

[Dingie_Dinah]

Oh Goodness!!! All I can say is this too shall pass, once the weight starts falling off!!! Grandmothers can be a pain, I know. Sorry you had such a ruff day. But today is a new beginning!!! And I'm proud of your choices! Ya dun good!!!
_________________
Dingie Dinah
Stella Style since 5/2003

May you always have
Love to Share,
Health to Spare,
And Friends Who Care

"Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin and Healthy Feels"

'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

[Tina]

Pattie, i grow up with the same things going on. My mother was obsessed with my weight. I was fat then also. She would talk about it with everyone. what to do about it. what was wrong with me. I have two sisters they are both thin. I mean down right skinny. My mother was really rude about it. i think sometimes she was ashamed of me. No i know she was. having a fat daughter just wasn't right to her. the thing is my mother wasn't skinny. She wasn't as big as me but she had weight to lose. I don't remember this because I really think my mind is protected me from it, But my sister said she would make me take off all my cloths and stand in front of the mirror and make me look at how fat I was. (very glad I don't remember this). That was just mean. She treated me bad, when my Father would go out of town for work, I remember crying thinking what a terrible week I was going to have with him gone. I love my mother very much and now we are close, her and I are closer than any two of my other sisters. My mother broke her ankle and I was the one that showed up everyday to clean house, do wash, and cook and take her to the doctors. she is blind now. I help her all I can. Funny how things work out. I do forgive my mother because I know she didn't know any better. She is a good person. I am sure part of it was she wanted me to be healthy, I realize that now, back then I just thought she hated me. So yes i can relate to what you are going through. sometimes it is better to let it go in one ear and out the other, Some people just don't have a clue what we go through. I mean we don't want to be FAT. HUGGGGSSSSS
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http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/3;10728;133;0;0/c/-40/t/-175/k/db47/weight.png

[prock929]

Thanks

Tina

{hugs}

I'm sorry you had to go through that as a child.

As far as my grandmothers and mother, for the most part I let what the grandmothers say go in one ear and out the other. I know that I am the only person who can change the way I eat.
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Patti

[Tina]

That is right patti. And look at it this way. we made be fat now but we are beautiful inside and out, and when the weight comes off, just think how much more beautiful we will be! I love the support of this forum, I do believe this time I am really doing something I can live with the rest of my life. double huggsssssssssssssssssssss we are on the right Track!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[Christine]

I had a cousin who just loved to point out that I was the fat one. We'd be talking about flying, and she'd look pointedly at me and ask if I had trouble fastening the seat belts on the airplanes!! It made me so mad that I complained about it to my mom later at her house -- not knowing my cousin was already there and in the other room. After that, she settled down and apparently really tried to be conscious of her comments. Of course, when we were little, she tried to tell my sister (who was thin) and I that my mom had said I was allergic to candy -- something my mom denied ever saying!

I'm sorry your grandmothers are such a pill about it -- but I'll bet that their comments come from the fact that they love you and want you to be healthy. They just don't understand what a hard time some of us have with this. And then on the other hand, there they are with the cookies and cakes and so forth!

Hang in there and just try to remember to love them while you have them, pills or not. My grandmothers are gone now, and I miss them very much!
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Christine
325/291/150 (started LC 11/08/04)